Sometimes writing something down makes it a little easier for both parties.....
So where do I start.....I suppose I could start from when me and him met but you probably don't give a rats ass about any of that anyway so I'll just go straight to January....
I didn't know about you, he never ever mentioned you to me at all and we texted almost everyday. I also had no idea about you and him getting together until Feb. I only found out as me and him had plans for 12th/13th Feb and I went on Facebook to ask him which day it was he was coming round 'cos I had some things planned for his b'day/valentines(even though we wheren't together)....Anyway....this will mean diddlysquat to you.
Obviously you and him spent that weekend together and 'cos he didn't come back to Fife he said I could go over there to visit...So I did, We had things to chat about. We sat in his room and chatted, like friends, like we use to. He hugged me and it was him who tried to kiss me and I told him it was wrong and despite what you may think of me I'm a woman too and I didn't want any reason for you to be hurt and certainly didn't want to be thought of as that kind of woman...however we did end up kissing etc, it just felt right and I can't speak on his behalf but all the way home afterward I felt like shit, and so I should have. I would never like my boyfriend to do that to me so why did I let it happen!!!???
I know telling him of my feelings for him messed his head up and by us talking daily had an impact on your 3 week relationship and I apologise, although he phoned me alot, it wasn't me always phoning him......
I can't stress enough to you that I never set out to split you and him up and it was most definatly not my intention for you to get hurt. Why would I want to hurt a girl that he liked, if you wheren't a nice peson he wouldn't have liked you. And as far as I'm aware, as a person, he still does like you. I just felt it was right to tell him how I felt.
I never at ant point asked him to end things with you. I never asked him if he wanted to be with me or if he felt the same. I never ever asked him to pick between me and you, I would never him in such a position. I only asked him if he was happy.
He's a grown lad and made his own decision.
It was never the case of splitting up with you and then he go with me. That didn't happen....it wasn't gonna be that easy!
I was never happy with the way he ended things with you and he got a roasting for that but you you to use the "I think I'm pregnant" card and leaving him hanging on for a week by not even doing a test was a bit much. Ive been 19/20 before and I actually understand why you did this. He actually says we have alot in common....(I wasn't sure how to take this either, but it doesnt help....)
I just wish you could understand that I honestly never wanted you to get hurt, thats not the kind of person I am. The whole thing makes me feel sick, I've been in a similar situation and know how much it can hurt. Even though I am not the initial person that caused your hurting I am truly sorry.
Whilst I know we are hardy gonna be buddies, I would like to think that we had a mutual understanding of the whole situation from mine and your points of view. The last thing I want is for you to hate me, we don't even know each other. But obviously I can't change your feelings towards me personally but I atleast hope you don't feel the way you did back then when it happened.
I won't read over this before I save/post it as I've typed it all from what was just coming out....I don't want to changed bits etc
S-J x
